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No Religion? No Family?

Date posted - October 8, 2013

In recent news, polls show that adolescents and younger adults have been denouncing their religion and accepting a non-theist lifestyle.


I can say I’ve noticed this trend in the local college and within my social group. A common issue among these young people is that their family is disowning them for not living for Christ. Young adults have plenty of questions for their parents on several topics and sometimes seek a helping hand from home. Unfortunately, their parents refuse to pick up the phone and refuse to talk to their own child.


Isn’t religion supposed to promote family? If so, why are there so many Christian parents in this community out-casting their children for being a non-theist, being homosexual, or converting to another denomination.


Local Young Adult

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45 Responses to “No Religion? No Family?”

  1. Dug says:

    First, remember this is only MY opinion: Our Pastor just got back from a mission trip to a place up by New York City. Yes, it was a mission. I can’t remember the exact number of non-Christians were in this area of the United States, but it was in the upper 60’s to 70%!!! That’s staggering if you think about it. I find it very hard to wrap my brain around that. True, I grew up here in the Midwest and our family attended church regularly, but as is the trend, when I got out of the house, I just didn’t have time for God, Church or anything else except ME! That’s the way it is in today’s society, it’s ME, ME, ME. You can’t take the material things when you die!! My wife and I now attend a local church every chance we get, because we did a little experiment and found that without God in our lives, it just isn’t the same. We now greet people with a smile and a kind word and it makes such a big difference, not only to us, but to the people we greet. Young people just don’t make the time, I know it’s hard, but slip out of the norm and attend church, just to see if it makes that difference. Music may be a starting point, check out some Christian Rock bands. I know, I know, I was skeptical too, but the words and soul that are poured into these songs are really appealing. If you want, LIFELIGHT is an awesome place to start too…and it’s free! Christianity is a great thing, all we want is brotherly love and peace. Give it a try, see how it feels, to me, it’s the best high I’ve ever had, and once again, IT’S FREE!!! That’s where it starts. Peace!!!

    • Ducky says:

      But the problem stated is that some parents (even in this area) have cast their child out and disowned them because of their religious beliefs or other biblical reasons.
      Are you aware how many people are kicked out of their family for only being gay?

      • 77Orab says:

        The problem is religion is man made. If our children are raised in the ways of the Spirit they would not rebel. However, the real problem is our society says you don’t have to listen or be accountable to anyone. If it feels good, do it!

        If you are a Christian, then you will try and live a life Christ like, which does require me to try and follow His commandments. If I am a non-thiest or athiest, I have no rules to follow for my behavior. Therefore, I can do what I want.

        By the way, Ducky, I know of no Chrisitan who is trying to live a Spirit filled life, who has ever kicked their child out for being gay?

        • Ducky says:

          I know some gays/lesbians that have been kicked out of their family. Not to mention, this is also common nationwide. And who ever said non-theists/ atheists can do whatever they want?

  2. Dug says:

    Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. I don’t know about you, and it’s only my opinion, but this is quoted from the Bible. I guess if it’s in black and white and you truly believe what the Bible says, then what else is a person to do? I do believe that it is basically a choice a person makes in their lives. Remember, this is only my opinion. If the parents feel so strongly against this behavior, then maybe counseling might help…but if the person that is being thrown out of the house is of age, then what else can the parents do, if they have exhausted every other avenue. Does that make sense? I’m not trying to persuade you in any way, I’m just stating what it says in the Bible. Black and white, homosexuality is an abomination, in God’s eyes.

    • Ducky says:

      The bible also says stone your children if they misbehave, put a woman to death if she has an affair, punish those who wear mixed fabrics, don’t work on the sabbath…
      Why is it we can pick and choose what to enforce in the Bible? I’ve heard people say. “Oh, but that’s the Old Testament.” But what about the 10 commandments? Those are located in the Old Testament, but many “Christians” choose to follow that part of the Old Testamant.

      • Judy says:

        The Good News here is that Jesus DIED and IS RISEN! Our sins ARE FORGIVEN!!! The Bible also says that one sin is no worse than the other. Sin is sin. Some are just a little more acceptable than others. Who are we to judge? We are to love each other, to bear with one another, and to carry each other’s burdens. My heart breaks for those that have been hurt so badly by the ones who should love them unconditionally. Jesus can heal that hurt.

        • Ducky says:

          Judy, not everyone believes in Jesus. What you are saying is like telling a grown man, “Santa will give you a present for Christmas if you are a good boy.”

    • Ducky says:

      And if homosexuality is an abomination in his eyes, why does he make so many homosexuals? Why would he make people that he sees as a disease? Seeing that Jesus never said anything about the gays and Christians never seem to debate the New Testament, wouldn’t that mean Jesus didn’t give a darn about what two men/women did in the bedroom?

      • 77Orab says:

        Ducky, I will pray for you!

        • Ducky says:

          Ummmm…. Okay????
          Telling an atheist that you’ll pray for them is very… odd. I’ll let my flying spaghetti monster know that you made me chuckle. From what I understand from these posts, there is a lot of confusion about what atheists believe and who they really are.

          Simply put, non-theists don’t sacrifice goats in their basement listening to heavy metal in the name of Satan. We don’t lack morals and don’t believe “anything goes”. And we especially don’t go around forcing our beliefs (or lack of) down the throats of everyone we meet.

          • Ashshade says:

            Why do you have morals? If you don’t believe in God, or any other deity – why have morals? With your thought process you should only be looking out for yourself. What makes you have morals? Why be nice to others? No God, no Karma, no anything. Why care what your fellow man thinks?

            I can see kissing up to person #1 so that you can get ahead of person #2. But other than strategic planning what is the use to be any kind of a good person at all?

            I try to live a Christ like life, to glorify God. You have morals, to do what, for who?

            Why are you on this site pushing your “non-theist” beliefs? What is it doing for you? Do you want to push people away from Christ? Why? What will it do for you?

          • ducky says:

            I love your questions, simply because you have stated a very huge stereotype of atheists. Believe it or not, you do not have to be a Christian to have a good moral belief system. If you also think about it, not all Christians have good morals. History is filled with Christians with bad morals. Almost every single Nazi was a Christian. Remember that the Crusaders would slaughter those who refused to accept Christianity. And what about Catholic Priests and little boys?

            I have morals because I’m a good person. Sociologists have concluded that a person’s moral belief system comes from the community and the family that they were raised in, along with events that they run into in their lives. These are expert scientist who believe this, people who have been using facts and proven methods. If a person is a good only because of their religion, then there are some issues. I find your response to be very rude, immature, and very prejudice.

          • Ashshade says:

            Ducky, I’m not being rude. I don’t think Christians are all good, far from it. Read my Oct. 12 post at the bottom of the page. I’m trying to have an open conversation, the kind that you prided yourself in by going to the church group.

            My question is why are you a good person? I can’t see being good just to be good. Why not be bad? If you step on the little guy you could get ahead.

            I can understand doing good for God, or karma or another kind of god, but not just because. Why would you do good for nothing in return, in the whole eternity idea?

          • Old Orab says:

            Ducky, you’re a sterotypical atheist. You’re an angry youth, ridiculing the masses. You shame others for a belief. I’ve discovered through my years and interactions with people of all faiths throughout the world that atheists are often the most annoying in the eyes of the masses. Contrary to your belief; I’ve spent many years in other countries and lived amongst their population. No I’m not a missionary. I have friends from all faiths and walks of life. I’m also a Christian. You must stop the hate. Yes, you’re practicing hate. Don’t “Candy Coat” it. Your words are full of hate.

        • Ducky says:

          Ashshade and Old Orab:

          First Ashshade: Why do I have morals?
          I’m going to try to keep it relatively short without forming a huge philosophical debate. Simply put is that my family, community, school, and environment taught me my morals. Also, my morals were reinforced by my own perspective (i.e I’d feel bad if I was robbed, so why make someone else suffer if I know how’d they feel?). Another reason is that I, like any other normal human being, seek love and acceptance from other humans. If seeking acceptance, a person has to develop compassion for other people.
          I hope I answered your questions, but please feel further to ask more if you are still curious.

          Old Orab:
          In no way have I portrayed any hatred. I have, however, shared my own personal non-theist to show that Atheists are not Sadists and I have shared stories that I have witnessed around the community. Your arguments, on the other hand, tend to have hatred, illogical answers, and very prejudice views. I do not hate Christians, but there are a few that I stand because of their unrealistic views on how to treat others.

          • Old Orab says:

            In my travels I’ve been persecuted by atheists far more than any other religion. I’ve actually had a Muslim family set up a Christmas Tree out of respect for their Christian friends. While a student at a University that I will not name; all Christians were openly mocked on day one of a biology class. I know what I’ve endured. I know the stereotype and I can easily sense the hatred. It’s not new to me. I’ve always wondered one thing. Why do atheists only attack Christians. It doesn’t appear that they’re equal opportunity mockers. Why leave the other believers out of the equation?

      • Mark says:

        Actually homosexuality is talked about in the new testament. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

        It is also found in 1 Timothy 1:10, Romans 1:26-28. Also the bible talks about marriage being only between a man and women and never says it can be between a man and man or women and women.

    • jake says:

      Read the verse!!!!! It also says with women kind. Stating ALL sex is sin. Read it you put it up.

      • Mark says:

        I’m not sure if your replying to me but I will respond to you. All sex is not a sin. God never says that in the bible, perhaps you should read the book Song of Songs. He does say that having sex with a women outside of marriage is a sin not if they are married. Sex in marriage is something to be enjoyed and cherished.

  3. sunshine says:

    If you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it.

    • Ducky says:

      As far as I’m aware of, I haven’t said anything offensive, crud, nor spiteful. Why can’t I share my beliefs (or lack of) when the Christians can however they please?
      Thank you for the consideration.

  4. Meets says:

    God created man in his own image. Man is to marry women, Clive unto each other. Like mentioned above man/women not to lay with each other. God did not create you as a homosexual. God gives choices….everyday choice to life changing choices. I smoke you don’t smoke….choice. Being gay is a choice. For those that don’t believe ….I feel ….no I really don’t feel for you. Look around my friend….end of times are nearing. Look at the tv shows we watch….promoting sleeping with other people besides are spouses, being gay, etc. really sad to sy the least but the BIBLE spells it all out. Science books try to explain and some they do and others list sources for there explaination. Point being FAITH!

    • Ducky says:

      Puberty must have been a confusing time for you. Can you tell us the day you chose to be straight? Was it a hard decision?
      I’m saying, why would anyone choose to be straight? Why would anyone choose to choose a lifestyle where they face physical beatings from strangers, discrimination in the work place, and isolation and hatred from their family? Any logical thinking person would never choose a life of suffering and discrimination for a different, lifelong sexual experiment.
      Scientists, scholars, medical doctors, and social experts have all stated that homosexuality is not a choice, but biological. These are people who have studied this question for years, if not decades to answer the public’s questions. Would you question a welder whether or not it was possible to join two metal objects together? Would you question a doctor if it was possible to transfer blood from one person to another? Of course not! But because a lot of Christians believe the Bible word for word (the parts they choose to follow), they then disagree with experts. What if I challenged what you do as a career? You’d think I was a fool for not believing in your work because it doesn’t fit my current prejudices. If EXPERTS say that it’s not a choice, why wouldn’t you believe them?

    • Ducky says:

      If homosexuality was a choice, why don’t your churches’ “Straight Camps” work? In fact, I know a couple of people whose parents sent them to these horrible camps. And you know what? Both of them are still gayer than a three dollar bill. Scientists, social workers, and even the victims of these “straight camps” claim that these camps not only work, but are inhumane. Records of brain washing, electroshock therapy, and physical abuse have been found in these “camps”. Why is it that Christians are trying to make these children and adults feel bad for who they really are?

      • Jon says:

        I would point out that not every church approves or sanctions so-called “straight camps.” Some even welcome gay people as members…whoa.

        • Ducky says:

          I actually morally support those churches that allow homosexuals into their church. Regardless of what you may think, I’m not a person who goes out and hates on Christians for fun. I do, however, have no problem slamming Christians who persecute others. I understand that people make mistakes or even the best Christian sins, but when they actually go out and create a wave of distruction, that’s where I draw the line. Have you ever heard of the West Buro Babtist Church (not comparing the avarge Christian to these people)? I’m talking about “Christians” like them! And yes! I have met several Christians who’s views don’t differ much from theirs.

          So, yes, it is possible for me to get along great with some Christians while some others may drive me up the wall. Because I spend time with Christian kids my own age doesn’t mean that I will convert to your beliefs. Because I’m atheist doesnt’ mean that I’m trying to convert you or your family. I’m saying that there are way too many times when Christians around here cross the line, even by their standards.

          • Old Orab says:

            Yes, the Westboro Church protested the funeral of my friend who was killed in Iraq. I’m aware of their hate. They hate everyone to include Christians.

          • Ducky says:

            I’m so sorry to hear about your friend and how his friends and family must have felt.

  5. Mrs. Scott says:

    Ducky, I just wanted to comment regarding your original argument that Christian parents are out-casting their children. What you have stated- that some Christian parents outcast their children for adhering to a different belief system – is a fact. I don’t think any intelligent person can deny this as fact. However, I hardly think your argument can exclusively be applied to Christian parents, can it? Therefore, I’m not really sure what you’re trying to say. Seems to me you’re being unfair by pointing the finger only at Christians. Parents of other beliefs disown their children too, so maybe we could all rethink this again. Maybe this is more an issue of social and cultural expectations and family dynamics and not an issue exclusively a phenomena of Christianity.

    • Ducky says:

      I am aware that parents of other religions out cast their own family for not believing what the rest of the family believes. Locally, this is more of a situation with Christianity than any other relgion or belief group due to the large number of Christians in the area/nation.

  6. Dug says:

    It’s ok with me if they are pointing their finger at me. I have big shoulders. Wouldn’t be the first time that I’ve been “bashed” for being a Christian. Many of my heroes from Biblical times had worse things done to them for speaking out for Christ. Even today, I have found heroes for not renouncing Christ…namely the Pastor that is currently in prison in a foreign country for his belief. But that’s neither here nor there, my point is just this, and it’s only my opinion, we try to point people in the right direction so they can have eternal life, but if they choose not to then I guess, whatever. It won’t stop me from being a believer. As far as praying for non-believers goes, I continue whether you appreciate it or respect it or not. I don’t expect a thank you, but someday, I will get my reward.

  7. Harriet Oleson says:

    Back in Walnut Grove we always believed in the theory “Judge not lest ye be judged”…. Thats why we Norwegians have always been easy-going, love to tell jokes and are fun to be around. I wish my Dutch brothers and sisters in NW Iowa would lighten up a little, too. I think everyone could let their hair down and smile more if you choose a new U.S. Representative!!!!

  8. Max says:

    Organized religion is a joke. I stopped going to church years ago and my life has been been so much better because I no longer have to deal with judgmental people any more.

    • Dug says:

      Really? None? Zero? And what planet is this that you’re living on? There is no way on God’s Great Earth that you do not have to deal with judgemental people. Good try though, but we are smarter than that…give us some kind of credit.

      • Ducky says:

        No, but most churches are the house of judgemental people. That’s actually why I origionally stopped going to church, too. It just seems like one day out of the week where the town gathers to share gossip and compare clothes (my personal reflection of church). And then the pastor would start slamming people of all types of different backgrounds, say that God is holy, and then ask for donations. I would like to say that it was only one church, but almost every church I’ve gone to was like that. I think I’ve visited a total of 30ish churches and their were only two that I didn’t end up wanting to scream at the pastor and shake his head around.

  9. Ashshade says:

    What I’ve come to believe on the the gay issue is a person is born gay. They are born wanting to be with a person of their own sex. I believe this is a sin. This person has a choice to sin or not, a choice.

    I was born with a tendency to addiction, I have to watch myself closely so I do not fall into addictions. I believe addictions are a sin. They become another “god” that you put in front of the Father. I have a choice.

    Others have other sins that they gravitate to. Murder, theft, lust, idols, even cursing. They have a choice.

    The problem I have with gays is the fact that they live in unrepentant sin. Jesus died for our sins, we just have to ask to be forgiven. I sin, you sin, they sin, everybody sins. We were made to sin. We were made to choose Christ to be our savior – or not.

    A gay couple comes to church, they want to be married. Why would a church perform a ceremony to celebrate people living in sin? I have not seen the church performing ceremonies celebrating other sins. (Hey Jim, way to steal that car, lets give thanks for your skills – I don’t think so). I personaly welcome gay couples to church, along with any other sinner. So they can find Jesus and repent their sins. Come one, come all, Jesus loves you all, and you are all welcome into the Kingdom of Heaven once you repent your sins.

    Oh, but its not fair you say. Your right it’s not fair. It’s not fair that I have to want to smoke. It’s not fair that I want to drink all the time. It’s not fair that I struggle with other things when other people (like my wife who just can’t wrap her head around addiction – just stop whats the big deal?) just go sailing through life without a care in the world. Life is not fair. The bible never said life was fair. (think Job).

    The people that throw kids out of the family are just wrong. Period. Wrong. Do you throw kids out because of other sins. (Ok tough love may have a place – another day, time ect.) Never stop loving. Love your neighbor as yourself. Show kindness and mercy.

    I will even call out the CR church in this area. You gossip, not love. You judge, not help. You are not better than the downtrodden. Matthew 25:45 Help the least of you. Really, help them. I don’t like to single any one out, but I have seen some of the worst behavior come from those that are the highest up in your community. Knock it off, you are not helping.

    • Happy says:

      To Ashshade, I am not a CR but it seems to me that your last paragraph shows all of us something about your very own character. You sound VERY.VERY. VERY judgemental!

      • Ashshade says:

        Where do you draw the line between judgement and rebuke?

        After the life experiences that I have had, and being a member of the community, for me to say some very broad things is not judgmental.

        The kind of judgement that I am talking about is your school teacher telling you that “you only went to church once on Sunday so you must not be a very good Christian”. Or, “those kids don’t go to church, don’t play with them”.

        There is a very big difference between what I stated about the CR church in this area, and some of these other things that get said.

  10. sunshine says:

    Going to church does not make you a Christian. I know many people who go to church to make it look good to whoever. And they live totally different behind closed doors. Now that makes me sick.

  11. Please Consider... says:

    Realize please that everyone is a work in progress and that God has a plan even for those who don’t agree with your opinion regarding religion. Everyone who is alive today is in the midst of a journey to eternity. Are people who negate Christians and judge us based on the words/actions of others who share our religion ignorant? Yes. Are we ignorant for assuming anyone who currently doesn’t believe exactly what we do is a heathen going to hell? Yes. Every honest Christian can admit to shades of doubt. The gravity of that doubt varies from person to person, situation to situation, but it exists in us all. We all are born with sin in our nature, “natural sin.” Everyone has a unique past, which means that we all interpret the word of God differently.

    Knowing all of the prior statements, what is the best way to live? One in which we inspire non-believers to WANT to belong to our churches. It is NOT to quote scripture as to why their opinions are wrong. If Christ was present in this stream beyond the spiritual realm, I think He would listen to those who voice doubt, and say something that inspires both non-believers and those who quietly doubt to be better people.

    To those negating religion: I appreciate your opinion that religion is founded by man, however, it I believe it is inspired by something larger. Too many things have worked together perfectly for my existence to be a simple coincidence. I understand your doubt. I honestly share that same doubt with you at times, but I really, honestly, can say that my life is SO much better knowing Christ and speaking with Him. I accept that you don’t share my belief now. I pray, however, that you attempt to become closer to God in some capacity eventually. Sooner is better than later. It’s always better to speak to Him prior to being diagnosed with an incurable disease. However, if I’m being honest, I don’t think my God would negate a non-believer if he or she only prayed when a disaster hits.

    Here’s my critique for this part of the world: be understanding. Don’t take so much offense when people disagree with you. A person attracts more with honey than vinegar. Vinegar is rampant here. I currently don’t even attend a church here because of the fact. Inspire people to be Christ-like…don’t talk about how Christ-like you are and celebrate yourselves in worship. We’re all the same without Him. Approach those who don’t accept Him like you do in a such a way that they eventually will.

    • Ducky says:

      I love your argument. You stated what you believe, stated a problem, and followed up how to solve this issue. Although our beliefs differ greatly, I appreciate the civil, calm responses that actually have a point to them. You, sir/madam know how to properly debate.

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