Northwest Iowa — October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are victims of physical violence by a partner every year.
Stefanie Behrens, a victim advocate for Lyon and Sioux Counties with Family Crisis Centers of Northwest Iowa says they help people who find themselves in abusive situations.
She says that people seem to think that domestic violence is a taboo subject. That’s why it’s way more common than we realize.
Behrens says that people who are in an abusive relationship will stay with their partner for a number of reasons.
According to the Sioux County Sheriff’s Office, sometimes people don’t know if they are really in an abusive relationship because they’re used to their partner calling them crazy or making them feel like all the problems are their own fault. The Sheriff’s Office has released a few ways to help you recognize if you are in an abusive relationship that you need to get out of.
· Your partner has hit you or strangled you in the past.
· Your partner is possessive. They check up on you constantly wondering where you are; they get mad at you for hanging out with certain people if you don’t do what they say.
· Your partner is jealous. A small amount of jealousy is normal and healthy; however, if they accuse you of being unfaithful or isolate you from family or friends, that means the jealousy has gone too far.
· Your partner puts you down. They attack your intelligence, looks, mental health, or capabilities. They blame you for all of their violent outbursts and tell you nobody else will want you if you leave.
· Your partner threatens you or your family.
· Your partner physically and/or sexually abuses you. If they EVER push, shove, or hit you, or make you have sex with them when you don’t want to, they are abusing you (even if it doesn’t happen all the time.)
Behrens tells us the Family Crisis Center has three divisions.
She says even in their area, there are some shocking statistics.
The Sioux County Sheriff’s Office and Family Crisis Centers say that if you need to leave an abusive setting, please seek the help of an area shelter. The Family Crisis Center can be reached at 1-800-382-5603. If you need immediate help or are in danger, please call 911. Both the Family Crisis Center and in some locations, 911 can also be reached via text if you find yourself in a situation where calling and talking out loud may not be the best decision. Behrens says you can text with an advocate by sending the code “iowahelp” to the number 20121. She also says sometimes texting is an easier way to start the conversation.
